Poor sleep
I've been having crappy dreams the last several days. Mostly they involve people that don't really exist in my life anymore and I really miss. That's why I haven't really been writing the past few days; I've been more upset than usual and unrested and such.

I normally have strange dreams about guns or a game or whatever my brain decides to take from my experiences of the day. I almost never have bad dreams, but three days in a row I've woken up at least once very disturbed and either had to get up to deal with the subconscious idiocy my brain indulged in or fallen right back into a new nightmare.

This trend needs to stop. I need my sleep, and a poor night's sleep can utterly ruin my day since I'm not well adapted to poor sleep patterns right now. I survived for two school years in a row getting 3-4 hours a night and I was fine, but the last 2 years have been very restful so my tolerance is extremely low. I'll get plenty of restless nights in the Army, I'm sure... I just want my fucking sleep for now.
- posted by Dave @ Tuesday, April 26, 2005

 
COP KILLER BULLETS!
Every weekday I watch a few shows in the morning, rain or shine. One is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World, which apparently shares only a few names with the book but as I've never read it I can't say. The other is The Pretender, one of the better shows that I've ever seen. It was unfortunately canceled.

I'm not here to talk about those shows, though. I'm sick of the bullshit anti-gun agenda the TV industry shows, and the myths they perpetuate. The Pretender set me off this morning because the entire episode revolves around armor piercing ammunition, or as they are called in the show COP KILLER BULLETS. Yeah.

There are a few facets of misunderstanding to this issue. The first is that body armor is bullet proof except when the horrible COP KILLER BULLETS are used. Even non-armor piercing ammunition can penetrate body armor. Body armor isn't magic, especially soft armor. Soft armor is designed to stop handgun rounds, and just about any rifle bullet will zip right through like a hot knife through butter. Hard armor is just soft armor with reinforcing plates in high risk areas. It's not like you're a walking tank, and even the hardest armor (Class IV) will be penetrated with multiple high-power rifle shots.

Another misunderstanding (read out-fucking-right lie) is that AP ammunition was designed specifically to kill policemen. Try again, asswipes. AP ammunition was developed at the latest in World War I, well before the invention of personal body armor, and earlier still than the advent of LEOs wearing body armor.

Lastly, AP ammunition is not more lethal or devastating than regular ammunition. It is, in fact, the least damaging of the various bullet designs. Would you rather have a small hole punched right through you or a small hole with massive tissue damage inside your body? Obviously the best option is no holes at all, but if I had to choose between loads for a particular cartridge and rifle I'd be picking AP.
- posted by Dave @ Tuesday, April 26, 2005

 
Self Censorship
It occurs to me that when I ship in June, I'll have to be extremely careful about what I say here. I don't know all of the consequences of speaking my mind 'in uniform,' which will be pretty much all the time if y'all know I'm a soldier. I've been warned never to speak out politically in uniform.

There's always the option of starting another blog and trying to avoid linking the two in any way, not telling anyone I write both. Maybe I will do that. Something to think about, I suppose.

I'm speculating almost 100% right now; I just felt like saying something about it because the topic came up elsewhere in my life. Maybe I won't be able to say anything at all about what I'm doing because of OpSec worries, who knows. Maybe I'll fail and be too fucking ashamed to tell anyone about it. Maybe I'll die and all this won't matter, who knows.
- posted by Dave @ Saturday, April 23, 2005

 
More TV silliness... aka Fucking Commie Hollywood
So there's this movie I just watched on TBS called Counterstrike. So-so action movie; the only reasons I watched it are Rachel Blakely and boredom.

What really pissed me off about the movie is the fact that they made Taiwanese freedom fighters the bad guys. They also preached China / US cuddling and nuclear disarmament.

This is the plot: the female US president (they really loaded it up with liberal shit, see--I'm not anti-women or anything, but it's a fact supportive of my thesis) is meeting with the Chinese president on a cruise liner to discuss foreign relations or some such thing. The Chinese president doesn't trust his government, so he brought the Chinese 'nuclear football' on board with him. The Taiwanese 'terrorists' take over the ship to steal the Chinese nuclear codes and gain their independence by declawing their oppressors. This is a bad thing? WTF? Yay oppression! Yay collectivism! Fucking commies.

I could mention the fact that stealing the codes would do you no fucking good at all because they would be changed in a matter of hours at the very most, but this is a liberal film so anything relating to guns, bombs, etc is automatically incorrect.

Oh yeah, and the USSS sucked something awful in this movie. They just got taken by surprise? Yeah... that happens. A great way to die is make a SS agent even THINK you're a threat to the president. Anyway, eventually the 'good guys' kill or capture all of the real Heroes of the film and voila the day is saved. Whatever. I'd like to think that the US forces only took out the Taiwanese people to save the president, but I'm certain that's not the way the writers thought.

The L3s (Loony Liberal Lefists) need to stop disrespecting SpecOps soldiers and elite units like the USSS Presidential Detail. Every time I see a movie where soldiers in general and elite units in particular are made out as morons and incompetents I want to find a liberal to kick in the nuts.

In case y'all don't understand why I'm anti-China, it's because China is the single greatest threat to US security in the world. If you think otherwise you're a damned fool. As for nuclear disarmament... nuclear proliferation = nuclear deterrence. Better yet would be the US alone having nuclear weapons.

You may think I'm an opinionated war hawk, but you'd only be half right. I wish for an isolationist policy, but I also want the US to have the most kick-ass military in the world... and KEEP it. Opinionated? Damn right. I'm not interested in debate.
- posted by Dave @ Saturday, April 23, 2005

 
I'm a Double Dumb Ass (and no, I don't get it)
Via Frizzen Sparks. I'm surprised I did even this well:

The Double-Dumb Ass Survey Says... You scored 39 %

Oh dear - have you even watched an episode of Star Trek? Antimatter relays have no meaning to you and you couldn't explain the mechanics of a temporal paradox if a phaser was pointed at your head. The sly significance and humour of your designation - the Double Dumb Ass - will also be lost on you. Still, on the upside, you're statistically more likely to be well-adapted, socially capable and are probably even popular with your peers. Like this test? Then don't forget to rate it!! Want more? How about some shameless self-promotion? I've also written other tests - check them out! You know you want to... The Do *YOU* Remember The 90's Test http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5703678562131497032 The Australian Trivia Test http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5445221572207587108

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 4% on Trekkies

Link: The Trekkie Test written by MadameBoffin on Ok Cupid

I guessed on 90% of the questions, as in absolute guessing because I had no fuckin clue what they were talking about. Star Trek just ain't my thing. My dad, sister, and I all used to watch Star Trek the Next Generation a long time ago, but I hardly remember it, and I never watched the original series or movies or any of that.

I do know a great deal about Star Wars, which is much more entertaining and thought provoking for me, and have written inside the Star Wars universe (outside of the mainstream plots and absent of anything but the basic guidelines and history of the galaxy). Star Wars is one of my inspirations in science fiction, and one the main literary collections that makes me want to write.
- posted by Dave @ Friday, April 22, 2005

 
TV stuff
So because my sleep schedule is so F-ed up, I spend a lot of time watching TV in the early morning hours. Usually I just watch the X-Files on TNT, but tonight I guess it's Anna Nicole Smith movie night.

In the last movie, they cut out all of the nude scenes of Anna Nicole Smith, which are the only reasons for her to be in the movie. It didn't even flow for one of them because they went from the guy ripping her shirt open to him randomly flying out the window. So this guy who is maybe 6 foot and well muscled with a gun was just overpowered by Anna Nicole Smith, a woman who is on the low end of physical capability because of her massive handicaps? Right.

I don't find her that attractive, so I'm not really complaining here, but what the fuck? Why even show the movie if you're going to cripple the plot line to absolutely avoid all references to sex or nudity? I remember when I used to watch late night movies on USA that were basically killing, nudity, and sex the entire time and they cut NOTHING out, just blurred the tits a bit. How sad is it that 3 AM cable TV is so controlled?

These movies don't even make sense, they're just a showcase for her to wander around, boobs and ass jiggling, randomly changing clothes and taking showers and stuff. Bad? Nope! But jesus, if the entire point of the movie is stuff they don't want to show on regular cable, why bother?!

Fucking nannies.
- posted by Dave @ Friday, April 22, 2005

 
Quote...
...but not of the day. Way too early to declare a QotD.

"You girly-men, back in my day we tracked deer by their scent and killed them with our bare hands."

Paulk, if my 85 yr old father is to be believed, in HIS day they did that with bears. Grizzlys, browns, everything.

(Of course, he also used to tell me how he walked 50 miles each way to school in North Dakota, in bare feet, in the snow, while it was 120 degrees... then when he got home, he worked 20 more hours that day for a nickel a month. I believe him... don't you????)

Yep.
- posted by Dave @ Thursday, April 21, 2005

 
It this POS working?
Ugh. I hate it when my blog doesn't work right. 'Course, if I can't get to the page, I have no reason to think anyone else can, so posting this doesn't really make much sense.

Edit - It works again. Yay.
- posted by Dave @ Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 
Quote of the Day

"Im in australia, but keen to leave, and get myself a bit of land, and a machine gun."

- posted by Dave @ Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 
Naming firearms
I don't know how I feel about this. Or rather, I don't know how most people think of it, as I'm apathetic on the matter. I think it's fun to personify my firearms and try to find the name that I feel is right for the ones I rely on, but I don't necessarily like to talk about it with other people because most people just don't understand, and will think I'm crazy.

I feel a great attachment to a couple of my guns. My 1911 and I have bonded, you could say, because I keep it either within reach or on my belt constantly and it's the best pistol I've ever felt. The name that feels right for it (her) is Christine; I don't know why, really. So from now on I'll be referring to my 1911 as Christine.

The other firearm I feel something for is my Marlin 336RC. I don't have a name for it, but it feels masculine. I'll come up with something appropriate. My Remington 870 is too ambiguous for me to feel anything for; it's just a tool. I don't spend enough time with any of my other guns (except the plastic ones that never will get names because they're too cookie cutter) to be able to feel--or not feel--the attachment. When I do, I'll name them appropriately.

I might as well toss out some more gun porn while we're on the topic of guns. This is a rifle I could certainly feel something for:



She's a beaut alright.
- posted by Dave @ Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 
Exhaustion
It's funny how the body responds to exhaustion. I spend a lot of time in a state of minor to extreme exhaustion, so I have a lot of experience with the phenomenon of my senses kind of fading out as my energy winds down.

Right now I'm experiencing minor tunnel vision and decreased touch sensitivity. I can't feel the 3 pound gun on my belt, when normally the weight is obvious, though not bothersome. My hands feel detached, almost.

When I get to around 26-30 hours awake, my hearing starts cutting out. I'll randomly realize that I have no memory of ANY sound for the previous several minutes, even if I'm watching TV or a movie.

Also, after I get past about 20 hours awake, I enter this zone where I can push my body VERY hard, performing feats of strength and endurance that are difficult enough when I'm fully rested. For example, I did over 200 dips in sets of 10, 15, or 20 over the course of an hour one morning before going on a 3 mile ruckmarch with a 70 pound pack. That same morning I did a couple sets of 30+ pushups with the 70 pound pack on. Mind you, I max out at 60 some odd pushups with just my body weight. That's maybe 40% of the stuff I did that morning, and that was after I had a full workout during the normal day.

The downside is I messed up my body clock really bad and didn't even know what day it was for like 10 days, staying up for over 22 hours at a time between sleeping 10-16 hours straight. I tried to fix my sleep schedule, but I just couldn't do it. I'd lay there reading, my eyes blurry and dry, my body just ACHING to sleep, but the relief wouldn't come.

It's good I can push myself above and beyond when I'm exhausted, but I have to wonder if I'm going to drive myself crazy (or break my body pushing too hard). It's not good to wake up at 9 PM and think 'hey, why is everyone still here, they're going to be late for work.'
- posted by Dave @ Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 
Israeli Carry
I've been practicing Condition 3 drawing, also known as the Israeli draw or Israeli carry, because frequently around the house I leave my pistol unchambered but the magazine loaded.

It's actually pretty snappy when I do it right, a fraction of a second slower than my normal Condition 1 draw, but it's somewhat hit or miss. I make an effort to draw more swiftly, which is a mistake, because sometimes I don't pull the pistol far enough out of the holster before pushing forward to my midline and twist my wrist. In a life or death situation that could result in dropping the gun, or more dramatically in breaking my own wrist if the adrenaline was pumping enough.

Even when I do get the first stage of the draw right I don't always rack the slide well. Sometimes I miss the serrations by gripping too low, on the frame, maybe about 5% of the time. I'm getting better, but say a combined failure rate of 8-10% between the two major errors and it's just not acceptable. Nobody in their right mind would carry a handgun that malfunctioned 8-10% of the time, and the same standard should be applied to the draw.

At least it's a safe draw; I don't sweep anywhere but my target. I think with practice it'll come more naturally, but the Israeli draw will never be as smooth or fast as a normal strongside Condition 1 draw. I don't recommend it unless you can put a lot of time into practicing it. I also do not recommend practicing the way I do, with live ammunition. Get some snap caps.
- posted by Dave @ Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 
WTF is wrong with these people?
Read.

Back?

What the fuck is that? Guess I'll be driving everywhere, because I usually bring about 8-10 books in my backpack. Nice job TSA, you kept Dave the Terrorist off the plane with your book restrictions! Where the hell do they get these ideas, anyway? Was there some MacGuyver episode where he used a book to make a bomb or something? Maybe they're worried about papercuts?

I don't get it, and trying will just sprain the logic centers of my brain with all the fucking leaps.

Oh, and since when were we only allowed 4 books to begin with? I've been on probably forty individual flights in my life, including to and from Europe, and on every single one I had more than 4 books on me. I wonder what the statute of limitations is on violating the carry-on code of conduct?
- posted by Dave @ Tuesday, April 19, 2005

 
Dammit Barry!
So I was, yet again, browsing the NoR forums, and a frequent commentor who has a similar taste in fine firearms as me got me all worked up about cowboy type firearms again.

A less frequent commentor is planning on an Uberti 1873 Special Sporting Rifle to celebrate BAG (Buy a Gun) day late, and he asked us gun nuts for advice on the caliber. That's how this began.

So Barry makes a comment on how beautiful the rifle is, a museum piece out of the box, and all that. I definitely agree that it's an absolutely beautiful rifle, though I would choose the carbine for comfort reasons if I planned on using it for more than a wall piece. I can't stand the sharp metal crescent shaped stocks.

He also mentioned the Uberti pistols, which are a whole 'nother story in my mind. They're fucking gorgeous. I have this dream of owning a ranch in Wyoming in 15 years with a horse or two and going out riding with an 1873 Cattleman Old West single action in 45 Colt in a crossdraw rig, cartridges on my belt and all, and a lever action rifle in 45/70 or carbine in 45 Colt in the saddle scabbard. Call me a dork if you want, but I love that image.

So I guess I should post a picture of the Cattleman Old West SAA copy. Here ya go:



Drool.

Oh, and in case you're curious why I would choose a crossdraw holster... try drawing a pistol from a strongside belt holster when you're on a horse. Have fun when you fumble it and drop it muzzle down in the dirt or onto some rocks.
- posted by Dave @ Monday, April 18, 2005

 
The Punisher!
The NoR forums give me good material for blogging, even if it's not particularly creative and original. Anyway, a commentor said this, regarding moving around the house without electricity at night:

I do low light drills any place I'm going to be staying any length of time. I memorize the layout, including obstructions, I also know all openings, silhouette poinTs, entrances, and locations of all the weapons, and all the lights.

I keep a loaded weapon out of plain view, but easily accessible in every room at all times. I keep a loaded shotgun and a loaded pistol by my bedside, along with a small surefire, and a large maglight flashlight.

All of my defensive weapons except my 12ga have tritiums sights, including my AR; which also has a long eye relief illuminated reticle tactical scope, or a red dot on it at all times.

I'm actually looking to put a tritium ghost ring on my 12ga; it has rifle sights on it now.

I can find and operate each of these by feel, without any light, and they are always placed in the same spot every time; and in the same condition (generally loaded, chambered, on safe, but the long arms are kept without a round in the chamber).

I also have a portable high speed strobe; and a couple of flashbangs, and IR suppressive grenades in case I ever get hit by some asshole with an NVD. I know where those are at all times too.

I WOULD use NV, but I cant afford a Gen3A or better piece, and anythign less than that is actually more of a disadvantage than an advantage in my tactical environment.

Yes, I am overtrained.

I've said it before, the person who attempts to assault my home is in SERIOUS deep shit.

Is it just me, or does that remind anyone else of the Punisher's apartment? Yeah, this one made me laugh out loud too, but I'm not going to say anything bad because my house will be just like that some day.

It's getting there, but I can only do so much when I'm the only one in the household that gives a shit about home defense. The shitty thing is that I'm in the least accessible room in the house most of the time, which means that instead of coming through me and being killed any crazy asshole that tries to kill my family will probably succeed before they get to me.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 17, 2005

 
Annoyances
It's kind of annoying how blogger never updates my number of posts or words written and such. I'd be interested in knowing how many words I've written on here in the last year and how many posts I have. Just sayin'.


Oh, and in case you're confused by why I say 'in the last year,' I actually started blogging back in March 2004. I deleted all of the posts a couple times when I thought I was giving it up, which is why they only go back to October now. It's probably better this way because now my entire blog applies to my life as it is today, since I started writing again after Erin left me. The posts before were probably crappy quality anyway.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 17, 2005

 
Another quote
Regarding kilts, Kim du Toit had this to say at the NoR forums:

When we were in Ediburgh last year, The Mrs. tried to get me to try one on (as she had on a previous visit to Scotland).

NFW. No Fucking Way, to you webspeak illiterates.

1. I'm not Scottish. Not a trace of Porridge Monkey blood anywhere in the family.
2. I prefer to keep the boys well covered.
3. It would be a bit embarrassing, seeing as my gut would cover the fucking sporran.
4. Mosquitoes and chiggers, as Toad pointed out.
5. I'd have a permanent woody -- it's very sexy to let the boys swing free. Then you'd have the woody pushing the sporran up into the overhanging gut, and the chiggers... the whole situation would quickly fall apart.

No, it's just not a good idea in Texas. Maybe in Scotland.

For someone else.

I love it over there.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 17, 2005

 
Simple Pleasures
It just occurred to me how complexified I've let my life become. A long time ago, a few days before I got my wisdom teeth out, I got a new bed and bedding. Sweet mercy, I thought I was in heaven. Even before I got my wisdom teeth out I spent hours and hours just laying in my bed, folded up in a soft flannel comforter on flannel sheets, my head resting on flannel clad down pillows (I love flannel bedding), reading. I read the complete Sherlock Holmes collection--about 1500 pages, I believe--in two days. I'm a fast reader, but that's a lot of reading even for me.

I still read constantly, but I read a hundred thousand words of political commentary and blogs instead of fiction daily. When am I really at peace? Never, I think. I'd like to recapture that simple pleasure of falling in love with another world again. I need to stop being so serious, so worried about everything. I always tell others not to worry about things they can't change and just go with the flow, so why shouldn't I?

The first adult-length fiction I can remember reading was the novel Mossflower, by Brian Jacques. I was very young, and it was before we got Corky, so I'm going to guess I was five. I remember because we had another dog named Buster, a beagle, who was hit by a car when he was one and a half. I had this stuffed animal dog that I loved while he was still alive, but if I ever wanted to cry or to remember him I'd just take the stuffed dog out and all I had to do is hug it to start the tears a-flowing. That dog spent a lot of time under the bed... I'm getting all teary just thinking about it. But I digress.

I fell in love with the world of Mossflower. Martin became my hero, and I followed his steps with relish and wonder. After I finished Mossflower, I hurried to grab the 'next' book in the series, Redwall (which is actually the first, but chronologically Mossflower comes before it and to this day I read Mossflower first). I was heartbroken when I saw that Martin wasn't in it. Makes sense when you understand the format of the Redwall series, but what did I know? I was only five.

Some things can still get me very choked up and my eyes so wet I can't see the screen, like some of Bill Whittle's essays (Courage is the one in particular I'm thinking of) or this piece by John Ross. There are others, but those stand out in my mind. Read them both.

I'm going to try to simplify my life. I'm going to stop having expectations and being disappointed when shit doesn't work out. I'm going to believe in something. I'm going to spend less time online and more reading and writing fiction. I'm going to buy some new cello music and just play to feel my heart soar. I'm going to find the simple pleasures again and hold on so tight I never lose them again.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 17, 2005

 
Promise
Ah, what a feeling. I have a rough outline, roughly defined characters, and some basic ideas in mind for a piece of writing I just started working on. It's been a very long time since I got even this far with a story, and it feels great. I'm not going to get my hopes up too much, but I can hope that this time I will be able to stick it out and finish a story longer than 10,000 words.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 17, 2005

 
EA Poe
I was thinking about the dearth of stories with an unhappy ending these days, and in thinking of a non-tragedy example, I recalled the short story The Cask of Amontillado I read way back in 9th grade.

I rather like Edgar Allan Poe. Some people seem to think that because he was less than a paragon of virtue his work should be torn down, but they can bite me. It's foolish to hate the work of an individual for their failings; a fine craftsman is a fine craftsman, be he a murderer or saint. Work should stand alone and be judged on its own merits. To think otherwise is to live a life of untruth. For example, I recognize that Hitler was a talented artist. I have a few of his sketches/paintings on a HDD somewhere, and they're a lot better than I could do. I also believe that his attempt to eradicate the 'lesser race' is one of the most fucking dispicable and horrible events in the history of humanity. Your respect, or lack of, the work of an individual should not reflect your personal impressions of the individual in question.

So anyway, I googled up Poe to see how to spell Amontillado, and stumbled across a digital collection of his writing. I don't know how complete it is, but it's a damn sight better than I have in hard copy. You can find it here if you're interested. Another good place to find older writing is Project Gutenberg. I much appreciate the opportunity to sample the work of an author before spending 8 bucks on a paperback gamble.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 17, 2005

 
Funny people
I've been seeing a lot of funny stuff on the blogosphere lately. They're little quotes tucked away in longer posts that aren't written with humor in mind, so far as I can tell, yet they make me laugh out loud. My example of the minute is this:

Now this is where the dream go really strange and kinda scary at the time. The more I cut the bear, the meaner it got... and I noticed that even with deep gaping wounds, the bear did not bleed. For it was already dead and had bled out already from prior wounds.... this was a ZOMBIE BEAR.

I love it. Written by the right's very own Mad Ogre.
- posted by Dave @ Saturday, April 16, 2005

 
Quote of the Morning
I was browsing the NoR forums and this made me laugh out loud:

Hens prefer a hen house. Heated. Free range is bullshit. I helped raise chickens in hungary. You need about 20 or so to get a steady supply of eggs, as a chicken will NOT lay 90 eggs daily.

Hen house in the middle, and a yard sized area for the chickens. Clip their wings, as they CAN FLY REALLY FUCKING FAR.

It's just the image of some poor guy chasing chickens as they soar down a hill or some shit; it makes me laugh every time I read it. It's even funny out of context. The frustration just oozes.


I know I'm weird. Deal.
- posted by Dave @ Saturday, April 16, 2005

 
Lacey




Isn't she cute?
- posted by Dave @ Saturday, April 16, 2005

 
Even more 1911 fun
I spent about 3 hours more quality time with my 1911 today. Should've been a 10 minute job, but a combination of things made it stretch out into the super frustration zone.

See, the real problem was me being stupid. I was accidentally installing the sear spring wrong (again, but in a different way), but I thought I was putting the hammer in wrong, so I kept fiddling with the hammer for about six complete detail strips and assemblies. This time I was letting the center part of the sear spring go into the mag-well area instead of bracing it on the sear assembly. I'm actually kind of surprised I didn't make that mistake the first time.

Well, the good news is I got to try out the new Lyman hammer & punch set I ordered from MidwayUSA. It's really nice, and it's a hell of a lot easier on my pistol and me than a 16 ounce claw hammer and nail sets. The pins are starting to loosen up in general as well, which makes it nice and easy to take apart and put back together, and I've become pretty damn good at the little tricks required for a quick reassembly. Now that I have a firm grasp of the mechanics of the 1911 I won't have to fumble around trying to figure out what's wrong with my blaster.

I finished bending the legs of the magwell, so they're about as close to flush as I can get; I was waiting for the nylon face hammer to do it. Now all I have to do is order some more files and some way to polish the file marks and I can finish blending it. One of my problems with the magwell is it doesn't really match the other 'stainless' accents on the pistol, which I suspect are electroless nickel plated. Maybe some day I'll have someone nickel plate my magwell. Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this in my other post or if I actually have a different opinion today, but I think the stainless magwell looks pretty sweet on my pistol.



Click on the picture for a very large 1600x1200 version. As you can see, the stock accents are gold tinted, just like electroless nickel. Maybe I should order some nickel Alumagrips... probably too gaudy, though. Anyway I love the grips I have on now; I didn't really notice until in a fit of boredom I swapped the stock grips back on, but they're cut a little fuller across the grip, which fills my hand noticeably better. You might have noticed the shiny specks on the magwell and the top left part of the frame by the slide; yep, that was Mr Stupid again. I dropped my frame on accident in the basement when I was first fitting the magwell, where it luckily landed on a cardboard box 10 inches AGL before skidding across the concrete. There's no telling what kind of damage it might have endured if I dropped it from 40 inches or so directly onto concrete. Shudder.

Along with the hammer and punch set I ordered a Wilson Combat extended mag release with a checkered button. Sigh. A magazine release is one of the very few parts on the 1911 that should be entirely drop in; alas, this one does not fit. The cylinderish part is the right width and all that, but the side that's on the right when it's installed is slightly too big for the hole in my frame. I've been working at filing it down, but it's slow work because the piece is so small and I have to pretty much hold it down on my knee with two fingers and file at an awkward angle. Good practice and earned appreciation of a proper workbench, I suppose. I'm sure I'll get it eventually.

That ends my 1911 adventure of the day. I still love it. I can't wait to get the Para Ordnance LTC to compliment my SSP in... a few years, sadly. Sigh.
- posted by Dave @ Saturday, April 16, 2005

 
Cartridge Stuff
I wrote out a long, 2000 word essay (only half done!) last night on cartridges and the factors that influence their effectiveness, blah blah blah. Then I actually READ the website that made me think to do it, and realized it was the same thing. Shit. So I wasted 3 hours pretty much doing the exact same thing this guy did already. Here is one of his pages.

Short version:

• Mechanical energy is not a good indicator of cartridge performance
• Velocity is less important than mass
• The heavier bullet you can get, JHP/JSP/FMJ/whatever, the better
• You should NEVER rely on expansion to increase the lethality of your handgun
  

A lot of people like to say that since the 9mm Luger and 45 ACP have similar energy levels, the 9mm is as valid a choice. That's horseshit. At handgun velocities the permanent cavity is all that matters, and momentum is far more important than energy, leaving us desiring a bullet with a moderate velocity and large mass/bore over a fast, light/narrow bullet. Obviously big and fast is the best, but the game of semi-automatic pistols is one of trade-offs and compromises. If you want a big and fast bullet, grab a hot 45 Colt or 44 Magnum revolver and get to it.

I think the best option for me is a 230gr 45 ACP +P or 45 Super in a 1911 Government. I would absolutely not shy away from using a very large but relatively slow soft lead bullet, like a 300gr 45 Colt at 750 FPS, and if I buy that Ruger Redhawk below I'll certainly carry it.

For anyone else, the best option appears to be to determine your recoil threshold and work around it. If you can only shoot a 9mm, fine, get some 147gr whatevers and load 'em up. If you like revolvers, a good option is 158gr 38 Special +P wadcutters. 40 S&W? Great, because the flat nose is excellent for creating a nice permanent wound. Get some 180gr factory loads and you're good to go. 44 Special is a potent cartridge and can be had in such firearms as the S&W 696 without the expense of 44 Magnum strength. 45 ACP is best loaded with a 230gr bullet at whatever pressure your handgun and you can handle. Even 45 Super is not as high pressure as a 9mm Luger (28,500 vs 35,000 PSI, IIRC).

Strictly speaking, the shorter the barrel the larger bore I would want. That is because a larger bullet can be pushed to the same momentum as a smaller one for a much lower pressure. Short barreled revolvers especially are known for tremendous muzzle blast, which is the result of high pressure loads. So if I had to choose a 2" barrel revolver, I'd rather have a 45 Colt or 44 Special than a 357 Magnum. 38 Special +P is underpowered for my tastes from snubbies, but I'd take one in a pinch for bellybutton work.
- posted by Dave @ Thursday, April 14, 2005

 
Snicker
45 ACP vs 9mm



Heh.
- posted by Dave @ Thursday, April 14, 2005

 
Test (Picture crap)... okay, it worked, Gun P0rn time

- posted by Dave @ Thursday, April 14, 2005

 
Yale Forons and Liberty
Apparently the Yale law academia is rewriting the constitution. Via Ravenwood.

On the face of it, it seems like another self-aggrandizing stunt, and frankly I couldn't give less of a shit what these morons have to say. Then I caught that they hope to actually ratify a new constitution by 2020.

Excuse me?

Look, guys, you can mentally masturbate all you want, maybe even have a circle jerk if that's what you're into, but if think I'm going to take your communist agenda seriously... I can't decide if I want to go shoot some Soros portraits or just laugh. A lot.

---

In a way, I hope their plan works. They can try to implement a new constitution all they want, and in 2020 when I'm 35 and in the prime of my life, I can have a war of my very own to fight. It is my belief that the US is sliding toward implosion, and we are already a fucking parody of the vision of liberty and freedom we like the rest of the world to see.

If a communist agenda gains traction (it won't), it will hasten the cleansing. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and all that. I know most conversatives out there disagree, thinking we can still work within the system to regain our freedoms, but here I must say you guys are far too optimistic.

America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards. -- Claire Wolfe

I've said before that the only way we can regain our liberty is a revolution, and I stand by it. Do I want a civil war? Do I want a revolution? Given the option, no. The problem is there are no more options. There is nowhere else to run to, and the time for a stand is rapidly coming.
- posted by Dave @ Wednesday, April 13, 2005

 
SSP Stuff
Well, I just had the dubious pleasure of detail stripping my 1911 for the first time. It wasn't so bad except for the stubborn pins and installing the sear spring incorrectly and wondering why the hell my thumb safety wasn't going back in. Eventually I found the clue online that if the hammer wouldn't cock the sear spring was under the sear and fixed it. I was also trying to reassemble it the hard way, which was installing the mainspring housing before the hammer.

The purpose of this detail strip was to install my S&A magwell. It looks okay in stainless, though I would prefer it in black... but I digress. I started out by checking the fit, which was a lot better than it could have been; unfortunately I had to bend the leg things the way that's harder: away from the gun, instead of toward it. I figured out a way of using two 2x4s and a rubber mallet that worked alright, though they're not perfect. I decided that slightly too far from the frame was better than too close because that way I could at least install the thing.

Once I got that part of the magwell fitting well enough, I had to file the top of the mainspring housing down so the grip safety would fit. That was pretty simple: I just took a metal file and sawed on it for a while, checking it against the stock mainspring housing every now and then. It took maybe 10 minutes.

Next I took my metal file and beveled the inside of the magwell to blend roughly with the frame. Another simple operation that took only a short time, maybe two minutes, after which I blunted the tips of the magwell to stop pulling the threads on my sweater. That took about 30 seconds.

I decided to install this magwell because I had been having problems with my magazine changes, and with my practice changes this has really helped. Edit: The extended grip (about 3/8") and added ounce or so of heel weight also really helps with my hold and balances the pistol better for one-hand holds. I'm also more comfortable with a metal mainspring housing than the stock plastic, though I guess plastics these days are strong enough to be acceptable. They're also a hell of a lot easier to checker and trim to fit.

All in all I'm impressed with myself. I'm a handy guy but I normally would not take on a job like this, because after all it's my only 1911, the magwell cost 80 bucks, and I have no tools for this sort of thing. I was using nail punches to remove and replace pins, an f-ing curved claw hammer to drive them, and a huge metal file. I don't even have a set of hollow ground screwdriver tips! I don't even own a vise, fer chrissakes.

So after my first taste of real gunsmithing, I think I would really enjoy doing it as a serious hobby, if not a job (supplementary job?). As anyone that read this way back when I first started writing--before the big hiatus #1--knows, I was exploring the Colorado School of Trades as an alternative to traditional college. They have a gunsmithing and blacksmithing school there. Maybe I'll do that after the Army...

I'll probably finish the blending at some point, but it's not a big deal how it looks right now so long as it works. On those lines, I replaced the stainless bushing with the stock black one until I can see if the slightly looser stainless bushing is effecting accuracy/precision noticably. I do prefer the stainless for the easy of disassembly, but if that is what's causing the slightly right grouping (shouldn't be, but I might as well find out) issue, I'll just deal with using a bushing wrench on a less pretty pistol.

I really need to get a dremel and some smaller files, maybe some polish and emery cloth, nylon face hammer, better punches, etc. I also need to put together a better cleaning kit and get organized, so maybe I should get on that... midwayusa/brownells here I come.
- posted by Dave @ Tuesday, April 12, 2005

 
Just thinking out loud...
It just occurred to me that I'm never bored. I have a mind that does not know boredom. Sure, I might get impatient to do something else if I'm stuck sitting around for five or six hours in an airport, but I never actually get bored.

I wonder why that is. Maybe it's because I read so much as a child, or maybe it's because I love solving puzzles so much. One of my favorite things to do is look at a machine and figure out how it works, or how I would make a machine to do the task if it's so enclosed that I can't get any clues to the architecture of the device. I can always find some problem to entertain myself with.

Which leads me to another question: what makes my mind work like it does? What makes me better at solving mechanical puzzles or grasp physics intuitively in ways that others don't? What makes math come to me in a snap? I know why I have a good grasp on the English language (don't laugh; I don't make a huge effort here because this blog is supposed to be relaxing, not grammar practice), and that is because of reading, plain and simple.

In the last 14 years or so, there was not a period of more than a day when I was not reading a book. I was never the type to read more than one book at a time, nor do I understand those who do. I suppose it depends on what sort of book it is and whether or not it's a school assignment, but I can't imagine reading more than one work of fiction at once. I'm currently reading the Chronicles of Narnia and Don't Shoot the Bastards (Yet), but that doesn't count: the former is a fantasy anthology, whereas the latter is nonfiction book on, essentially, civil disobedience. I highly recommend both.

Something else I have stuck in my mind that most people I know don't have is the find-it-out compulsion. If I don't know something and I'm at the computer, I look it up right away. If I'm away from an information source (I count my father as an information source because he has the same compulsion and 34 years more of asking questions than I do) I file it away in the back of my mind, and at some point over the next several days--either right away when I get to a computer or when I happen to remember, it varies--I look it up. I've often thought I should carry a pad around with me to write stuff down, like words I don't know the meaning of or how something is made (or anything else, really), but I never got around to it. My memory serves me well, but I'd imagine I lose about 10% of the things I want to look up without writing them down.

That reminds me, a bit of advice I wanted to give the world: Do not read beyond a word you do not understand. That means when you hit a word you don't understand, look it up! Now, I don't take a really hard line view on this, but I think an excellent idea is for a reader to keep a pencil or highlighter or whatever on hand and write down the offending word or mark it in an obvious fashion, to come back to later. It's pretty inconvenient to stop reading and find a dictionary, but in the long run expanding your vocabulary in that fashion is one of the best things you can do. Of course, you might sound like a snob to less educated folks, like I feel I do sometimes.

Sometimes I think of some really random shit to find out. For example (and I don't recall how the topic came up) my father and I were talking about pipe in the car, and he mentioned seamless pipe, which neither of us could really figure out how to make economically. There are obvious, highly wasteful methods of making a tube or pipe without a seam; take a chunk of bar stock and machine it. I offered a solution that depended on them not really telling the truth, which would be welding the pipe closed like usual and subsequently treating the metal in a fashion that removed the impurities of the weld (ie, heating it to cherry red and letting it air cool), leaving the metal for all intents and purposes seamless, but that's not how they do it. I didn't think it was, but it was a plausible solution, just not the correct one. We talk about mechanics a lot, because after all he is a mechanical engineer. Or politics. Or, more recently, about out West or how my uncle built his house. I used to read in the car, but for the last few years I've found myself talking to my parents a lot more and almost never reading unless the whole family is in the car and I'm left to my own devices in the back seat.

See, what they really do is take a billet and roll it at high compression between two rollers at a 10 or 15 degree angle (I don't remember exactly, I just skimmed the thing; I'm betting 10 degrees). The tensile forces crumble the center of the billet and you end up with a hollow, elongated piece of pipe without any seams. Cool. The site I read that on said you could replicate the process by taking the eraser off the end of a pencil and putting a ruler on it at the prescribed angle, pressing down hard, and rolling, making sure to maintain the angle. I didn't actually do it, but they said it would leave you with an elongated eraser with a hole in the middle. Like I said, cool.


I'm not sure what the point of all this is except to explore possibilities by writing about things; as I said yesterday or the day before, this writing helps me think. Because I feel like I'm trying to explain things to someone, even if nobody reads this, my mind works on a slightly different plane. Thanks for reading another aimless post as I wandered the paths of my strange mind, if you made it this far.
- posted by Dave @ Monday, April 11, 2005

 
Weird Night...
I've had an odd night... I'm not sure if I like it.

I saw Erin, my ex, for the first time since we broke up back in September. She said I should stop by her work, though I'm not sure why, and I decided to go. Things weren't too weird, awkward at first and when I was leaving, but alright I suppose.

I bought some movies while I was there (she works at a video place): Dodgeball, The Punisher, and Walking Tall. Dodgeball was fucking hilarious, The Punisher is one of my favorite movies (I let it run in the background three times straight this afternoon), and Walking Tall is a good movie. Not a great movie, but good. If they'd had Equilibrium or something I would have bought that instead. It was buy 2 get 1 free, see.

She looked great. She always has... but today, she seemed even more beautiful than usual. I wonder how many times I told her she was beautiful? That exact word... probably never. What a fool.

Maybe tonight was a mistake. I had begun to believe that I don't love her as much as I do--that she isn't as special as she is. The funny thing is if you looked at the two of us apart, you'd never guess we could have fallen so in love once upon a time. When we first started dating I had doubts, but with time... I fell in love deeper than I even knew until we broke up.

I don't even know how much of what we had was real. It was real for me, but was it real for her? I know she loved me, but did she really love me that much, or was she holding on because, like she said once, she thought it was me or nothing? I don't like thinking about this stuff, because it hurts more than anything to think that the love in her eyes when we were together wasn't real... I believe it was real. I don't think that look in her eyes could be faked.

I'm glad I'm not that guy anymore. The funny thing is after we broke up, I became everything she said she wished I was. It took losing the love of my life to become a good person again, to become content with myself, to learn from all those awful mistakes I made. Is that life? I don't know.

I'm not interested in anyone else. I had been thinking about Rachel a lot lately, but seeing Erin tonight just underscored how weak my feelings for Rachel really were and are compared to the love I lost. I'm fairly certain Erin has dated several guys since we broke up, might even be dating someone now, I don't know, but I just can't do it. Nobody does it for me.

Warning to the easily offended or squeemish: Too much information next.

Anyone I try to get interested in becomes straight about sex. Sure, there are some girls I know that I'd like to fuck, but that's all it is. It just feels like a game, and I refuse to be one of those guys. I could do it, I could go out and fuck around--it would be easy--but it would just dirty me. The odd thing about this kind of lust is that it's not about physical gratification; Chris Byrne of anarchangel.blogspot.com wrote a post a short while ago that reminded me of this. I can't remember the last time I came when I was having sex. It was about giving the girl a ton of pleasure and that's it; I'd just jerk off later.

I wonder if my sex life will always be like that. For love or lust, the sex is the same, so I'm not sure what point I was trying to make; the difference is the motivation only. I guess with love the difference is giving up control to the girl. Only one girl I've done that with, and even then not as much as I should have. I'm glad I wrote this, the control thing just occurred to me.

Control is a big thing in my life. I'm not a control freak, but you have to really earn my trust for me to give it up to you. My father is someone I trust implicitly. So is my Uncle Tim. My old best friend Pete was, for a long time, but we've been distant for a few years. I don't really know him anymore. It's a huge relief to know someone you can really trust, so you can take off the mantle of responsibility for a bit and just rest. Being so controlled... it's wearing.

I didn't give Erin enough control. I wish I had... I trusted her more than most anyone, but I think I was so used to getting fucked over by people I put my trust in that I wasn't ready. What I wouldn't give to have someone like that in my life again.

I'm just kind of rambling, so I'll post this and maybe start a new post about something political or boomsticky or something. I should be sleeping and getting up before dawn to go running, but I know I won't get to sleep tonight any time soon.
- posted by Dave @ Monday, April 11, 2005

 
Dogs
I feel like putting up pictures of my puppies from Christmas, but unfortunately blogger is not working correctly with my hotlinks. So, you get normal links.

Lacey

Breeze
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 10, 2005

 
Arsenal Update (SSP Stuff Mostly)
Since I last wrote about guns, I've acquired a few new toys. Most notably, my 1911 (Para Ord SSP), but also the Armalite AR-180B I spoke of a long time ago and a few AR-15 uppers. Worthy of mention as well is my Mech-tech 45 ACP CCU for my 1911, which I have not yet fired, but seems alright. I don't like it as much as I thought I would, but that impression might change when I slap a red-dot on.

I really love my SSP. It's a great pistol, and has poisoned me utterly for non-1911 designs in general and polymer frame pistols entirely. A crappy picture (I suck at taking good pictures recently...) but to give you non-gun-nuts a taste: go here, the fucking pictures won't link correctly because using blogger is about as fun as getting shot in the nuts.

If you care to see my Armalite and some toys, go here.

I might as well give a bit of a range report on the new hand cannon.

The SSP is brilliant. I've installed some new parts just to give it the look I wanted; for example, you might notice the stainless two piece guide rod, plug, and bushing. The grips I put on are not stock, either; they're not functionally different but I like the darker red and pronounced black grain. I have a set of slimline Alumagrips which I had on the pistol for a bit but I prefer the thicker grip; I'll save those for a double stack 1911. You can see them here; I think they look slick, and if I had the thicker version I would leave them on, but I can't justify dropping another 60 bucks on grips. I'm also going to install a Smith & Alexander magwell, which I stupidly ordered in stainless. Damn. Hopefully it'll look ok, and if not... can you cold blue stainless steel? Maybe I'll order another one in black and save the stainless one for my next 1911. It remains to be seen if I have the skill and nerve to blend the magwell...

As for shooting, it's great. 45 ACP is more punishing on the hands than a wondernine, of course, and a few hundred rounds leaves my hands a bit sore/stiff, but it doesn't hurt in any immediate sense. By punishing I don't mean in terms of perceived recoil or muzzle flip, I mean the actual force your paws have to absorb. In the first session my hands ached noticeably after only 150 shots, but the second time I ran right through around 600 rounds of 230gr FMJ without soreness. It's amazing how quickly the human body can adapt. The pistol doesn't even feel heavy anymore, even though it's 45% heavier than my P95.

I've had only one fail-to-feed to date. I think I've shot in the neighborhood of 1000 rounds made up from six different manufacturers and loaded in three types of mags. The one failure I had was magazine related, an old GI mag with a weak spring. It was also in the first 100 rounds; whatever happened to 1911s not working right out of the box? WTF? Whiners. Oh, and the Para Ordnance factory magazines are pretty nice. They're reminiscent of Wilson Combat 7 rounders, but I prefer my McCormick Powermags.

The pistol appears to be grouping about 1 inch right at 10 yards, but it's entirely possible I'm pulling the pistol. I have not attempted any bench-rested shooting. It's good enough for combat accuracy, and precise as hell. I put a 4x5 inch group in one of my silhouette targets at 15 yards, rapid fire, three magazines as fast as I could line up the sights. Rob Leatham I am not, but with my wondernine I would have been grouping 10 inches at that distance. The SSP appears to like Winchester White Box 230gr FMJs the best, but once I settled in I was getting good groups (2 inches at 10 yards) with just about everything. The old 1943 surplus ammo had more fliers and underloaded rounds than the rest, but it was still accurate enough. That 4x5" group I spoke of was from the WWII surplus can.

The trigger is pretty good, if a bit heavy for me. At first it felt light as a dream, but as I shoot it more and dry-fire practice I think I would prefer a lighter trigger. Sometimes when I'm shooting I'm so aware of the pressure I'm exerting on my trigger finger than it feels like I'm dragging a 2x4 through the mud when in fact I'm only putting 2# of pressure down (this is thanks to cello for all these years; my fingers are incredibly sensitive). So, I don't think a lighter trigger would be a safety hazard for me. If I had to guess, I'd say it broke around 4.5#, and I would probably take it down to 3 or 3.5#.

Hmm, what else? I don't mind carrying it (in PA I can open carry and I carry it around the house as well), though I can see how it would be hard to conceal a full size 1911. I'm thinking about a Para Ordnance LTC for my next pistol, sometime next year, which would take 3/4" off the slide/barrel and improve concealability quite a bit. I've got a few rigs for it. I have several Bianchi belts of various lengths, to accomodate IWB and on the belt carry. I splurged on a Galco Cover Six crossdraw holster and belt to match, as well. Yes, I am conscious enough of my appearance to spend twice as much money on leather just to match the holsters and belts as well as the combination to my possible outfits. I'm also too vain to sacrifice my style to conceal a pistol... I wear jeans that fit well enough that there's no chance I could sneak a pistol in the waistband without looking very strange, and I also wear tight shirts/jackets most of the year. Basically I plan on moving to an open carry state when I can so I don't have to fuck around with CCW stuff. I'll still probably conceal a 9mm subcompact or some such thing, but that will be in addition to the big iron on my hip. (Musical reference... anyone get it?)

My favorite all around position is 3 o'clock in a Bianchi Black Widow holster. Very comfortable in all positions, and not impossible to draw from a sitting position, though in a vehicle it would be trapped by my seatbelt. If I don't need to sit down, I also like a 10 or 11 o'clock crossdraw position, which, contrary to popular belief, does not sweep everyone on my left side upon drawing. I never draw in a sweeping motion from anywhere, perhaps because I spent so long in martial arts; I pull the pistol up into a 'chamber' position and thrust it forward as if I was stabbing with a sword to a shooting stance. From the crossdraw, my the muzzle is pointed at the floor as I pull it across my belly, then rotated up to the point where my wrist locks and my left hand wraps around the front of my right hand in the first half of my 'stab.' This technique works very well for me; it is quick, repeatable, and safe. And nobody is going to tell me that in stress I'll sweep everyone, because that's just stupid. You revert to your training under stress, which in my case will result in a safe draw, double tap, assess, headshot if necessary, assess while moving to cover...

I also have a few more Bianchi strongside holsters (incl. two different Black Widows, different colors, you see) and a Bianchi 3S Pocket Pistol IWB holster. Now, a 1911 Government in an IWB holster is downright uncomfortable. I was foolish enough to strap one on in front of my hip, about 1.5 o'clock, and try to sit down. Almost broke a fucking rib. It's alright behind my hip at about 4 o'clock, but it's not comfortable to sit down with and it pulls the belt against my left hip annoyingly. My 1911 actually draws best from the IWB holster at 4 o'clock, but who gives a crap about that if you can't carry it?



I had a bunch of italicized stuff, but since blogger sucks a great deal, it keeps fucking with me and not letting me post the entry because a font tag is not closed. Does it indicate which fucking one? No. I loved that shit in computer science, when I had 1000+ lines of code and it gave me an error without telling me where the fuck it was in the program. That's real helpful. Brilliant, guys.

Great. It's still saying I have a font tag open, and I deleted every single font tag in the file that I can see. Fuck it. I'm ignoring errors and posting anyway. Sorry if this looks like a crackhead wrote it.
- posted by Dave @ Sunday, April 10, 2005