Enlisting, Part I
It seems I have a long road ahead of me on my quest to enlist. I don't know if anyone really understands why I'm trying to do this, and recently I've begun to doubt myself a great deal. I guess a big hit came when I realized that my parents don't really support me in this at all. They say they do, but I've long since stopped judging words and looked only at actions. Effectively, where I thought I would have some modicum of support—from the only people I can really count on to never walk away from me, because I'm family—I've found nothing but second guessing and the unwillingness to understand.
I guess I could just walk into any old recruiting station and sign right up, if I wanted to simply serve my country in the military, but it goes deeper than that. I'd have plenty of obstacles just doing that, between my less-than-stellar academic career, my disorderly conduct(s?), my eyesight, and my weight. Now, to explain:
I didn't really perform well in high school, and in college, I have a curious balance between A's and W's/F's, because last year I stopped going and didn't quite withdraw from all of my classes. When I did go, I got A's and when I fucked up and didn't withdraw I tanked my GPA. I believe my high school GPA was somewhere in the neighborhood of an 86-87%, and while some people might think that's fine, I've never considered myself a B student, so it's still an embarrassment to me. I've always pissed people off because I wasn't performing to my 'potential' in school; it was very obvious when I'd rake in 80s all year and get a 98 on the midterm/final that most of my grade depletion was due to not doing homework and assignments, not simple lack of capability. I also should add that I never studied for any final in high school, including the AP American History test that I scraped a 3 in
(I read, um, three chapters out of about forty in the book, how the hell did I pass that? A 3 [out of 5] is the minimum for any college to accept the credit, and it's frequently higher at better schools, in case you didn't know how the APs worked), and my parents knew it, so that made it even worse. If I would just TRY...!
When the PSAT came along, I did quite well, though I missed the National Merit Scholar award because I F-ed up the math section; I still got honorable mention, but if I'd had my SAT score on the PSAT... well, things might be different today.
(I really don't want to brag, so please don't think I am, but without knowing the real facts it's hard for someone to understand what I mean. I got a 1400 on my PSAT, 750 verbal and 650 math. I predicted to my father that I would get a 1550 or higher on the SAT, and he just kind of chuckled at me, but boy did I show him: I got a 750 verbal again and an 800 math, which was actually disappointing because I had hoped for a perfect score. I should have made a bet with him! Maybe if I'd gotten NMS, I'd be going to SUNY Geneseo right now, instead of taking the occasional classes at the local, albeit very good, community college.) I took the ACT for the hell of it, and while I didn't do quite as well on that as I did on the SAT
(I got a 33 out of 36, when I had hoped for at least a 35--the ACT doesn't seem to be quite so consistent in scoring as the SAT, though) I still got my typical 99th percentile. Now maybe you can understand why my parents are so exasperated that I have no real desire to attend college, and how frustrated they were with me for getting poor grades all through High School. Sorry guys, I love to learn but the bullshit they teach in HS/college just doesn't do it for me.
I guess this whole paragraph pertains more to my family situation than it does to actually enlisting, but I believe it is important nonetheless.
I earned myself two run-ins with the law over a three month or so period in the first quarter of 2003, and both resulted in disorderly conducts, and two fun trips in a sheriff's car. I didn't get booked or anything the first time, but I did the second. I'm not going to go too in-depth, but I'm positive I have a disorderly conduct on my record from the first incident, and I'm not at all positive what happened with the second; I met the judge and all but I didn't get any sort of penalty and there was no official court business involved. I'm hoping that that one stayed off my record, so I can slip by with a single class two civil violation and not need a waiver. I'm somewhat glad for those incidents, though, especially since they were so minor, because I was on a shitty path and I got scared straight real quick.
(This is pretty much wishful thinking, and I'm almost positive I'll need a waiver. Even if my second DC violation isn't on my record, I still have the arrest record for it. I'm kind of trying to stretch out the time before I enlist so my violations aren't so fresh, but so far my plans for doing so have failed. Looks like it should be about an even 2 years, plus perhaps two or three months, since those violations when I do sign a contract for my enlistment.)
So I'm 70 inches tall (5'10), and I've seen a couple different numbers cited for the maximum allowable weight for that height: for the Marine Corps, I've seen both 215 and 182 pounds (quite a change there), and for the Army 180 pounds. Just one slight problem. I haven't weighed less than 180 pounds in probably 3 years! And we're not talking about me being a lardass, we're talking about me being muscular. I'll readily admit I'm fatter now than I ever was when I was running cross country
(Hey, running 70 miles a week will really strip the fat away), but I'm definitely not carrying more than about 17-18% body fat, which is in the good and healthy range. For a long time I held consistently at about 185 pounds, but about 7 months ago I started growing again, I believe due to working a very demanding physical labor job 30 hours a week for several months.
(Ever try covering a 6 acre parking lot by yourself, 6 hours a day, during the busy hours at a relatively busy supermarket? I'm talking about pushing carts here, by the way. 30 hours doesn't sound like much, but God damn was I tired every day when I got home. I would be walking fast, constantly, pushing up to twenty of the big carts at once, almost every single minute for 6 hours straight. Did I mention the parking lot was uphill both ways? I'm serious! It was a bloody valley, so I had to practically run to control the carts going down and then strain to push them back up to get to the store. Brilliant design.) So anyway, I managed to put on another 15 pounds, mostly in my legs and back, though my bones in general seem to have grown a bit and my hands got a bit bigger too. For those of you that have been paying attention, that puts me at just about 200 pounds. 200 > 180, 182. 200 < 215. So... let's hope the minority is right! Frankly, it's wildly unlikely that I'll ever weigh less than 190 pounds again barring some serious maiming, like losing a leg, or major malnutrition, because I'm simply not built that lightly. My educated guess is that I'll weigh 210, and possibly as much as 215 pounds when I do enlist. Waiver city, baby.
The eyesight thing is a much smaller issue. I have about 20/50 vision in both eyes, myopic, which is easily correctable to better than 20/20 vision with glasses. I can't wear contacts because I can't get them in or out of my right eye... I'm cursed with somewhat smaller eyes than usual I guess. When I did try to get contacts I spent about an hour trying to get the fucking thing back out of my right eye after the doc put it in; the left was cake but the right was about as fun as trying to pull a crocodile's tooth. With bare hands, while he's still awake and ready to bite your arm off. I guess I'm just worrying too much about this, but I would hate to not achieve my goals because my eyes aren't perfect.
Okay, this has turned extremely long winded, and I've only just covered the basic issues I have to overcome before I can enlist for any position. I'll try to explain the rest later, because I'm getting pretty tired (3:30 AM) and my writing is starting to suffer. Hell, I don't know that anyone is even ever going to read this, but I thought it might be interesting for some people to read about what it's really like trying to enlist in our beloved military.
